Colliding Worlds
by OCnative
Summary: What happens when Ryan can't take his new life anymore and goes back to his old one? How will he fit in to either one? Final chapter completed.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything related to The O.C. and I am worth more dead than alive. 

I just want to say a great big THANK YOU to my reviewers and cheerleaders who helped me.

This doesn't really coincide with any particular episode other than Marissa and Ryan are a couple and it takes place at some point after Thanksgiving. The overall mood of it is probably in response to my dread of Ryan turning into goodie two shoes.

I also wanted to use bands from the show for my musical blurbs…my little tribute to Adam Brody.

*************************

__

In my room

I'm alone in my room

and I'll be in for a while

And can't you see

I'm holier when I'm....

I'm feeling good enough to try?

In my gloom 

I'm only in my doom,

and I'll be in for a while.

I used to think,

while I sit and wait for the phone to ring

that I'd be happier if I just am.

_The Dandy Warhols_

***

It was late, well after midnight. Marissa had just left the pool house after she and Ryan had made love for hours. It was becoming more and more of a habit lately. She'd wait for her dad to go to bed, then sneak out of the apartment and let herself into the pool house. The first time they'd had sex, it seemed like it was her first time. Now it seemed like she couldn't get enough and was over almost every night. Ryan agreed that the sex was intense, they'd do it for hours and then do it some more. Luke must not have been all that great in the sack. The thought brought a smile to Ryan's face. Finally, something he was better at than the precious star athlete of Harbor High School.

Ryan turned on to his side and rolled out of bed. He reached down and felt around on the floor for his pants. He pulled them on, reached for a sweatshirt, and headed towards the pool.

This was his favorite time of the night. Everyone was gone, asleep in their cozy little perfect worlds; Ryan could be himself. No more putting on the act, playing the "messed up kid from Chino;" now enjoying a splendid life and living with one of the richest families in Newport Coast. Truthfully, it was all getting to be a bit too much lately.

He pulled a joint out of his sweatshirt pocket, lit it, and inhaled deeply. Thankfully, his probation officer was a slacker and a dealer on the side. He'd stopped testing Ryan after their first meeting. 

He replayed the days events in his head:

__

"Ryan, don't forget about the charity auction tonight, you'll have to pick up your tux, I've already called the store… 

"Ryan, I have my debutant league dinner tomorrow night and you have to be my escort… 

"Ryan, that was the soccer coach on the phone, he wants you starting in Saturday's game against Capistrano. There will be some scouts there from some of the ivy league schools… 

"Ryan, your English paper was really good, I'd like to be able to share it with the class, is that okay?… 

"Ryan, I need you to help me with Anna and Summer, I mean, you sure know a lot more about this stuff than I do, right?"

When did this become his life? He inhaled deeply, letting the marijuana sooth his racing mind.

He thought back to Thanksgiving and seeing Theresa for the first time since he moved to Newport. Marissa had pushed her way into riding along to Chino with him, wanted to see his "roots." It wasn't worth the fight. She wasn't used to being told "no." So he'd let her go with him, hoping that Theresa wouldn't be home. 

But she was, and he could tell by her expression that when she saw Marissa, her heart had broken just a little bit more. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many wrongs he needed to make right. But he couldn't. Then when they got back to the Cohens' house, Seth was grilling him so he'd said it was _good to be home_. But was it good? And was this really his home?

When he was with Marissa, he often wondered why they were together. Sure, when he first met her, he had been attracted to her, physically. There was some mystery to her too. Now he saw the spoiled brat within.

Marissa probably liked him so she could rebel against her mother. Julie Cooper hated him and everything he represented because it reflected her own roots in Riverside. Here was Harbor High's social chair dating the bad ass from Chino. That had to be the reason was why she was still with him. Well, that and the sex. He knew that he was fairly good at it. Of course, he'd been doing it since he was 12. First with some of Trey's leftovers who were too fucked up to even notice the difference, then there were others. Then there was Theresa.

Lately, he'd been thinking about his relationship with Marissa a lot and it just didn't seem to fit. They were from opposite worlds. He'd never felt that way with Theresa. Even when they weren't "together" they could talk about anything. Their hopes, their dreams, their fears. Now that he was in Newport, the people around him only seemed interested in gossip. It was all a game. Everyone donned their roles and acted them to perfection. His role was the charity case who was screwing the social chair, at the top of his class, a star on the soccer team, and mentor to Seth. It was such bullshit and it was getting to be too much.

As he sat there, the sun began to rise over the flat horizon of the Pacific Ocean, turning the distant water a dark orange. He'd never really slept much unless he was drunk, or crashing. He finished the joint and was careful to make sure he didn't drop anything on the patio. He got up and went back into the pool house to take a shower before school. Let the games begin.

***

"Ryan, there you are!" Marissa exclaimed as she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I have been looking all over for you."

He'd split during lunch instead of sitting with her out on the patio. The pressure seemed to be building more and more lately and he was having a hard time shaking it. His teacher read his paper in class, made a big deal about how good of a writer he was, and said that the _other students should try harder_. He wanted to crawl under his desk and hide. He needed to escape this whole scene, even if only for a little while. He'd found that smoking pot wasn't cutting it anymore.

"Oh, sorry about that, I needed to get some books from the library for my History paper." He replied, shutting his locker door and trying to sound like he wasn't lying.

"Well that's okay, Summer, Anna, and I were doing some last minute planning for the debutant league dinner tonight. You probably would have been bored. You do have a tux right?" She slipped her hand into his, and turned to walk to 6th period with him.

He put on a smile for her. Of course he had a tux, Kirsten had made sure that he, Seth, and Sandy were always dressed for Newport's social gatherings. 

She reached over to kiss him on the cheek. In his ear she whispered, "I'll come over afterwards."

***

After the dinner, Ryan had told Marissa that he was really tired and needed a rain check. She'd acted hurt, but realized he wasn't going to change his mind. When he dropped her off at the apartment, he'd told her that he loved her so she'd stop moping. _It wasn't a total lie_ he thought to himself.

Back at the pool house, and out of that damned monkey suit, Ryan sat on the edge of his bed in a pair of jeans and a T shirt. The Cohens had gone to bed, so he was freely drinking scotch from the flask he kept hidden where neither Rosa nor anyone else would ever find it.

He pulled out his wallet and dug into one of the pockets for a small slip of paper where he'd kept Theresa's phone number. He stared at it for a long time. He'd folded it over so many times, hiding it in his wallet, he could barely read the numbers. He knew it by heart, but just having it in his wallet was like having a little piece of her with him. Finally he reached over, picked the phone, and dialed the number. She answered with a sleepy "_hello?_" on the second ring. 

***

After talking with Theresa for a half hour, he hung up the phone and looked over at the clock. It was 11:30. He reached for his jacket and walked out of the pool house. He was sober enough to drive. With his tolerance level, it took a lot more than a flask of scotch to get him drunk. 

He was going to need to borrow a car to get to Chino. He let himself in the back, slipped the keys to Kirsten's car off the counter, and walked out the front door.

At this time of night, it only took him 30 minutes to get to Chino. He pulled up in front of Theresa's house and quietly tapped on her bedroom window.

She opened the window and helped him climb inside.

Neither of them saw the dark SUV that pulled up and parked in front of the neighbor's house across the street.

****

End of Chapter One


	2. Chapter Two

__

you led no celibate life no skirt while chemicals danced on your head. 

you stole the keys to this ride and your fables are falling tonight. 

because of your struggle to make them. 

their taste for your past time is fading 

remember the girls in the middle are always the first to fall off. 

you'll learn to live like a mouse, 

searching the cracks in the floor to remember 

all the dregs in the crowd you barely recall.

The Shins

***

"Hey, thanks for letting me come over. You've always been there for me, even when I haven't deserved it," Ryan started to say. He couldn't take his eyes off of Theresa. It was so good to see a friendly face. One that didn't need something from him.

"Ryan, you know that no matter what happens with us, I'm always here."

They'd been sitting on her bed, and he'd told her all the pressure he had been feeling. How he had to play a role and make other people happy all the time. But on the inside, he still didn't feel like he belonged and the pressure to make everyone else happy was making him nuts.

"Ryan, I know it's hard on you, your whole family is fucked up. Now you're living in Newport, and you aren't one of them." She leaned over and gave him a hug.

As they embraced, he thought back to the times when he and Theresa were together. Even when the rest of his life was shit, Theresa was always supportive and accepting of him.

As she started to pull away from the hug, he stopped her. He reached up and cupped her chin with his hand and looked searchingly into her eyes.

"Theresa," he said with a shaky voice, "I love you. I think no matter what, I will always love you."

"I know," she sighed, "me too."

He leaned in and they began to kiss.

***

Marissa wasn't sure what had been going on with Ryan tonight. It wasn't like him to ditch her at lunch and then ask for a rain check for sex. 

After he'd dropped her off, she'd borrowed her dad's truck and drove over to the Cohens' house. Knowing it was too obvious to park at her mom's house, she parked up the street and waited. 

She'd begun to feel stupid, and was preparing to drive home, when she saw Mrs. Cohen's car backing out of the driveway. As the car passed her, she saw that it was Ryan who driving, but he didn't see her.

So she'd followed him all the way to Chino. As soon as she turned onto the street, she realized that he was going to his ex-girlfriend's house, the one she met on Thanksgiving.

"_Why in the hell is he coming back here?_" She pulled up across the street and quickly shut off the engine and headlights before anyone noticed her. 

She watched Ryan climbed into a bedroom window, and saw Theresa helping him in.

***

His conscious told him that he was cheating on Marissa, but it didn't feel like cheating. It was as if he'd been split in two, and this Ryan; the real Ryan, was making love to the girl he loved. The other Ryan would continue to dress up, go to the charity auctions and debutante dinners, have sex with the social chair, and would occasionally get broody and quiet. That was what they expected, that was what they wanted. 

He knew that he couldn't come back to Chino, not now anyways, but he knew that he needed Theresa. This was real, he didn't have to pretend. Theresa always understood him. She loved him no matter how fucked up he was. And having said it, he realized that he loved her, even if they couldn't really be together.

***

It was almost sunrise when Ryan climbed out of Theresa's window. They'd fallen asleep together in her room, and he needed to get back before the Cohens' woke up. He'd felt like a huge weight had been lifted as he jogged across the lawn to the car. He still didn't notice the SUV across the street.

***

Marissa had almost fallen asleep several times while waiting for Ryan to reemerge. Just as the sun was coming up, she saw Ryan climbing back out of the window, and then leaning in for a long kiss with Theresa. 

__

"How long has this been going on?!?" 

She watched him speed off in Kirsten's car and then finally gave into the tears that were forming.

***

Ryan raced home. He had to get Kirsten's car back before they all woke up, otherwise the questions would be there. _What was he doing? Where had he gone?_ He didn't want to deal with it.

After he deposited the keys back on the counter, he had walked over to the pool house to take a shower.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he saw Seth sitting in a chair near the window, waiting for him.

"Hey man, what's new?" Seth asked.

"Not much, what's new with you?"

Seth got up, shooting a quick look through the window back towards the house. "I got up early this morning, I couldn't sleep, so I got up and watched some TV."

Not catching what Seth was getting at, Ryan got impatient. He wished Seth would just spit it out.

"I saw you man, I saw you pulling into the driveway at mach speed in my mom's car this morning. Were you and Marissa, you know, _together?_"

***

Ryan felt himself slip back into his act. He knew that Seth might mess up and make a comment to Marissa, and he didn't want either of them to catch him in his lie.

"Naw, I've had problems sleeping, so I needed her car to drive to the store and get some sleeping pills. I didn't want her to get all worried about me, so that was why I didn't ask her."

That seemed to satisfy Seth's curiosity because he looked bummed that there wasn't something juicier to Ryan's secret trip out.

****

End of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter Three

__

Passing through unconscious states, 

when I awoke I was on the high-way 

high-way high-way high-way high-way high-way high-way high-way 

and now we all know the words were true 

in the sappiest songs - yes, yes. 

and I'll put them to bed, but they won't sleep.

Just shuffling the sheets, to toss and turn, 

you can't begin to get it back.

_Death Cab for Cutie_

***

That night after dinner, Ryan called Theresa again from the pool house. He felt so relieved to hear her voice. She'd said her brother was throwing a party on Friday and she hoped that he could make it. That was tomorrow. He'd have to figure something out to tell everyone, but he promised her that he would be there.

The next day Marissa seemed distant. When he tried to question her, she said she wasn't feeling well. He felt slightly guilty at how relieved it made him. If she was feeling sick, she wouldn't want to come over, and he'd only have to make something up for the Cohens.

***

After school Ryan had told the Cohens that after dinner he needed to go to the library, and then wanted to stop by a friend's house from soccer. Seth seemed a little mad that he had not invited him along, but he'd get over it. What the hell did Seth do before he came along?

Kirsten gave him the keys to her car and told him the tank was full. He gave her a lopsided smile and left. 

Once he got out of the neighborhood, he took off the stupid button down shirt Kirsten had hung in his closet.

***

When Ryan had mentioned wanting to go to the library and then to a soccer friend's house, Seth knew something wasn't right. Ryan hadn't befriended anyone on the soccer team. It seemed bogus, just like his little trip to the pharmacy at 5:00 a.m. 

Seth decided to call Marissa and casually asked her what she was doing that night. She'd seemed even weirder than Ryan. Something was very wrong and Seth wanted to know what the hell was going on. He'd just assumed that Ryan _had_ been with Marissa that night and was just being the gentleman. Now he thought otherwise.

When he tried to figure out how to broach the subject of Ryan's Friday night study gig, Marissa suddenly switched gears and blurted out that she wanted to follow Ryan and see where he really went.

Shocked, but glad for not having to be the one to suggest it, Seth had told her to meet him in her mom's driveway and they'd hide out and wait for Ryan to leave.

***

Seth and Marissa were sitting in the backseat of her dad's SUV. She'd been silent and moody during their stakeout. Seth tried to make several jokes about doughnuts and lukewarm coffee, but nothing seemed to get Marissa to talk. He sensed she would rather he just shut the hell up.

After what seemed like an eternity, they saw Ryan take off in Kirsten's car, then stop and throw something in to the backseat. Marissa waited a moment and then started to follow him from a safe distance. 

It seemed like Marissa already knew where he was going, which didn't make a lot of sense. Had she and Ryan been hanging out in the 'hood and not invited him?

****

End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter Four

__

Everything is ok, everything is fine

I give you everything you ask for don't be so unkind

Well every time you're mad about every little thing

But it's too soon to pull out that wedding ring

…

This little boy is running right back home

I guess it's nobody's fault now but my own

Never had the patience never had the time

…

On your mark get set go

This little boy is running right back home

I guess it's nobody's fault now but my own

Phantom Planet

***

When Ryan arrived at Theresa's house, he saw that the party was already in full swing. He pulled Kirsten's car up to the side of the house and said a quick prayer that the incident in Long Beach wouldn't be repeated.

His heart raced as he got out of the car, so he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. It was good to be back in Chino. No more pressure to be perfect, to be someone's fucking hero. 

Theresa had seen him pull up and walked out to the front of the house to greet him.

"This is some party huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, Arturo always knows how to throw down. Is the stuff here?"

Theresa stuck her tongue out at him. "Glad to see that living in Newport didn't make you a spokesman for the 'Just Say No' campaign."

They kissed deeply and walked into the house together.

***

Marissa stopped the SUV at the end of the street until Ryan and Theresa walked into the house. She didn't want him to see her and Seth just yet.

Seth had tried to get Marissa to talk on the way there. Now, as she sat behind the wheel on the end of the street, watching her boyfriend making out with his ex-girlfriend, Seth finally shut up.

Gripping the steering wheel, Marissa slowly pressed down on the gas and drove slowly down the street. There was obviously a party in full swing. She parked a few houses down, shut off the engine, and gritted her teeth as she tried to stay calm.

They stayed in the truck for at least 10 more minutes, neither of them saying a word, when Seth finally broke the silence.

"Okay, so I am not going to ask what you know about what's going on, or who that girl was that Ryan was with, but are we going to go in there and bust him or not?"

Marissa slowly turned to look at Seth, her hands still gripping the steering wheel, "yeah, let's go."

***

Ryan and Theresa had gone into her bedroom after saying "hi" to some old friends, making a stop at the bar, and picking up some coke from Arturo. It had been awhile since Ryan had done coke, and it felt great. 

Theresa had started kissing him and he felt himself kissing her back, sliding his hand through her hair, and guiding her onto the bed. Her breath felt warm on his face, and they wasted no time in getting each others clothes off and making love.

***

Seth looked around the front room as they walked in. This was like the party in Long Beach he had gone to with that freak from the Crab Shack.

He slid his hand into Marissa's because they needed to look like they were there together. It would be safer that way. He lead her through the crowded living room trying to find his brother.

He couldn't imagine what on earth Ryan was up to. Seth knew that he still felt out of place sometimes, but he was happy in Newport. Ryan was dating Marissa, they were having sex all the time, and he was doing great in school and on the soccer team. He just couldn't understand why Ryan would want to come back to Chino.

He also couldn't figure out what was going on with Marissa. Each time Seth tried to ask her about it she remained quiet and gritted her teeth. She seemed to know where she was driving to, her behavior was just plain strange, and she hadn't even reacted to seeing Ryan kiss that girl. It almost as if she knew about them, but how could that be? 

He continued to look around the room and didn't see Ryan, or the dark haired girl he'd been macking on in the driveway. Looking at Marissa, he saw that she was examining the room in front of them as well. 

He pulled her over to the bar. "We're gonna stand out even worse if we don't get some drinks to walk around with," he whispered into her ear.

She nodded and then smiled at the guy who was haphazardly assembling drinks at the far end of the living room. The bar itself consisted of some concrete blocks and two beat up interior doors that had been painted dark blue and placed in the shape of an "L". 

Marissa asked for a 7&7 for herself, and a rum & coke for her friend.

The bartender gave her an odd smile and then turned to mix their drinks. 

As he handed the drinks to her, the bartender asked, "hey you don't look familiar, have you been around here before?"

She didn't want to get caught up in anything, she just wanted to find Ryan and get some answers.

"Yeah, of course I have, thanks for the drinks." She handed Seth his rum and coke and started to lead him away from the creepy bartender.

"There's a bunch of people heading out to the backyard, let's go out there." Seth said.

Marissa took a long swig of her drink to calm her nerves and then followed Seth out back.

***

Ryan and Theresa returned from her bedroom to the party going on in the living room. While their time together was limited, he wanted to see some old friends, make that connection again. They walked into the living room where Arturo, and Ryan's old friend Nick, were smoking some weed.

"Ryan man, where the hell you been?" Nick asked as he got up from the couch and slapped Ryan on the back.

"Hey man, it's good to see you. My mom left. I'm living with some people in Orange County now, but it's not permanent."

As Arturo was watching Ryan, he made the connection to the skinny white chick that was just in here. That was Ry's girl, the one he brought with him to pick up that car for Trey. He wondered why she was here if they weren't together anymore.

Ryan and Theresa sat down on the floor across from the couch. "Hey man, you got anything stronger than that?"

***

Marissa was starting to feel sick. _It must be all the stress with Ryan,_ she thought to herself. However, the more she and Seth hung out in the corner of the backyard, the more she felt like she had in Mexico.

She turned to Seth, tried to tell him she felt sick. Maybe she would feel better if she went and put some cold water on her face.

"Seth, I feel kinda hot, I'm going to get some cold water in the bathroom."

He started to go with her, trying to yell to her that they should not leave each other, but she pulled away and got lost in the stream of people wandering into the backyard.

As she re-entered the back of the house through the slider, she ran into the bartender in the kitchen.

He looked at her with a weird smirk. "Hey, how are you enjoying the party?"

He was standing too close to her, leaning into her, leering at her. She started to back up and bumped her elbow on the countertop causing her to drop her empty glass, which shattered on the kitchen floor.

As she knelt down to pick up the shards of glass, the bartender grabbed her by the arm and hauled her back up to her feet. She was feeling worse, like she was going to pass out at any moment. She swayed back and forth from the balls of her feet to her heels and tried to reach out to steady herself. Something was really wrong with her and she couldn't even seem to yell for help. For such a raging party, the kitchen was empty and Seth was still out back.

As she reached out her hand to steady herself, she wound up putting her hand on the bartender's chest and he grabbed that wrist with his free hand and started pushing her backwards towards the laundry room.

"Did you like that mixed drink?" He slurred.

****

End of Chapter Four


	5. Chapter Five

__

It's the first time

in a long time

that I've drifted away from you

its the first time

in a long time

that I've seen someone new

it's not what it once was

it's not what it used to be

I'm not who I once was

I'm not who I used to be

…

I've left without you

Rooney

***

After doing several lines with Arturo and Nick, Ryan grabbed Theresa around the waist and suggested they head back to her bedroom.

"Ryan, you're wearing me out!" Theresa giggled, before getting up and heading back to her bedroom with Ryan in tow. Neither of them remembered to lock the door.

***

Arturo watched the exchange in silence. He wasn't sure what was going on. Ryan and Theresa had been together, off and on, for a long time. Now Ryan was living in Orange County with some trust fund socialites, and the last time he saw Ryan, he brought that skinny ass girlfriend.

He wanted to go find that girl and her guy friend. Someone was going to give him some answers.

***

Seth tried to figure out what to do. Ryan and that girl were obviously not outside, which made him worry about where they were, and what they were doing. He'd hoped there was a reasonable explanation for this mess, but was things were not looking good.

He was also worried about Marissa running into either of them alone. He debated whether or not he should stay put for when she came back, or if he should try and go find her.

His drink was too strong, so he'd only taken one sip. Seth looked around and made sure no one was watching him as he poured it in the bushes behind him before heading towards the back entrance of the house.

***

Marissa felt so foggy she couldn't tell what was happening to her. She knew she was in the laundry room with the bartender, but she couldn't figure out why. She just wanted to lay down and sleep. It was as if the world around her was in slow motion and she was watching what was happening in broken segments.

He'd gotten her into the laundry room without anyone else seeing them and he knew for certain this prime piece of ass was not from around here, and wouldn't remember him.

He started pushing her towards the washer and dryer. She was so fucked up she didn't even seem to notice.

***

Seth had checked both bathrooms and hadn't found Marissa. He should never let her go off alone, not that he could do much about it. It wasn't like he was all big and tough like Ryan.

At this point, he figured _fuck the plan_, whatever _that_ might be. He needed to find Ryan, they needed to find Marissa, and get the fuck out of here.

Seth saw that there was a short Mexican guy approaching him. 

"Do you know Ryan Atwood, or where he is?" Seth asked.

The guy was sizing him up. "Yeah, where is your skinny friend?"

Seth hesitated only a moment, hoping this guy would help him. "Marissa is Ryan's girlfriend – or at least she was, and now I can't find her."

Arturo glared at him for a moment. Another fucking trust fund kid, but he knew that it wasn't this kid who was his problem. It was Ryan, who was fucking his sister.

"Come on, let's go," he grumbled as he headed down the hallway to the bedrooms with Seth in tow.

Arturo knocked only twice before trying the doorknob and finding that it was unlocked. He yelled out and then swung the door open hard. Theresa scrambling to get off Ryan and pulled a blanket around her naked body.

"Arturo, what the fuck are you doing?" She screamed.

Seth stepped into the room. He was afraid that Arturo was going to start beating Ryan for messing around with his sister, and Seth needed Ryan to help him find Marissa.

Ryan looked really fucked up, but seeing Seth, he also shot up in the bed and grabbed for a sheet. 

"Ssseth?" he slurred, "What're you doin' here?"

"_The better question bro_, is why is your skinny ass girlfriend Marissa here?" Arturo shouted, walking over to the bed as if he was going to deck Ryan.

Seth ran over and jumped between them, hoping Arturo wasn't going to beat his ass instead.

"Hey, is there any way we can find her before you kill him?" He asked.

Ryan looked back and forth between Seth and Arturo, trying to process what they were saying.

He and Theresa got up from the bed, each pulling sheets and blankets around themselves.

"You never broke up with her Ryan?" She whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

Ryan stammered, he couldn't find the right words. Everything was turning to shit and he was still fucked up.

Seth bent down and grabbed Ryan's pants and underwear and tossed them to him. 

"Can you all work this out after we find Marissa?" 

Seth looked over at the dark haired girl and then down at the floor, "sorry."

Arturo seemed unsure about whether or not to go ahead and kill Ryan, but figured that the skinny chick might need their help after all. He nodded at Ryan before he and Seth left the room so Ryan and Theresa could get dressed.

***

The bartender pushed her against the washer and started sticking his tongue down her throat. This was great, she was barely conscious of what was going on, let alone scream out in protest. 

"Hey little miss uptown bitch, you ever been with a guy like me?"

Her eyes seemed to going in and out of focus, but she made no response. At this, he smiled and took off his shirt.

****

End of Chapter Five


	6. Chapter Six

_There must be some kind of planet_

_For all the people who can manage_

_All of us who can handle it_

_With all of this damage_

_                        The Dandy Warhols_

_***_

After Ryan and Theresa got dressed, they followed Arturo and Seth to look for Marissa. Even though the house was packed, if she was still there, it shouldn't take too long to find her.

After searching all over, Arturo noticed that the bartender was also missing. Jack was an asshole and Arturo didn't trust him. He then saw that the door to the laundry room, which lay just beyond the kitchen, was closed and there was light coming from underneath the door. As he started towards the door, he noticed the remains of a broken glass on the kitchen floor just in front of the door.

"Ry' get the fuck over here man." Arturo hissed, as he picked up his pace towards the door.

He tried the handle and it was locked, and then started banging on the door. "Jack, are you in there?"

Ryan and Arturo started working the door handle to see if they could bust through. Seth and Theresa stayed back behind them.

"I'm a little busy in here man." Jack yelled from the other side of the door.

Ryan and Arturo started kicking at the door simultaneously. It clattered open instantly, splintering on it's hinges.

Just beyond the doorway, on top of the washing machine, Marissa was half sitting and half leaning up against the wall. It was as if she was asleep. 

Startled at the sound of the door exploding off of its hinges, Jack had backed up against the far wall wearing nothing but a pair of jeans.

"What the fuck man?" Jack yelled as he grabbed for his jeans.

Ryan and Arturo rushed into the room. "No man, what the FUCK are you doing?" Ryan yelled as he grabbed Jack.

Theresa  didn't know what to think. She couldn't believe what was happening. She should have known that Ryan wouldn't have broken up with Marissa. After all, she and Ryan weren't back together for good, only when and if Ryan could get out to Chino. He didn't live here anymore. 

She looked over at the unconscious girl. The same one she and her mom had talked to about Ryan's musicals in the kitchen. At the time she had hated her, hated her for what she represented: Ryan's new life in Newport. Now she just felt sorry for her. No one deserved this.

Theresa walked over to Marissa. "Come on."  She pulled Marissa towards her and half lifted her off of the washing machine.

Ryan and Arturo started beating the shit out of Jack, as Seth helped Theresa get Marissa into her bedroom. When they got to the bedroom, Theresa looked over at the messed up bed sheets and Ryan's jacket and looked pleadingly at Seth.

Understanding the look, Seth walked over to the bed and threw the covers back into place and shoved Ryan's jacket into her closet.

***

Jack became a crumpled heap on the floor while Arturo just kept kicking him in the ribs.

"Don't you think he's had enough?" Ryan asked. He was out of breath. He was still wired from the coke, and his adrenaline was pumping. They'd pretty much beat the crap out of Jack, who was unconscious.

Arturo looked up at Ryan with fury in his eyes. "Why'd you come tonight man? Why are you here? You're livin' large in Newport now, why come slinking back around here, getting into trouble? You don't fit in here any more!"

Ryan reeled back from the statement. "I…I dunno. I just thought, I just needed…I dunno."

Standing directly in front of him Arturo responded, "look man, you keep crawling back here, fucking with Theresa's head, and it's just over man. Enough. Go back to Newport. I'm happy for you man, I really am, but just move on. Let my sister go."

Remembering the girls and not sure what else to say, Ryan turned to leave. "I've gotta go, I'm gonna go check on them."

***

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Theresa had gotten Marissa partially awake and was trying to help her drink some cold water. Seth paced back and forth, trying to figure out whether or not to call 911. On one hand, Marissa might need her stomach pumped, but on the other hand, it had only been a few weeks since she'd overdosed in Mexico. They might send her to a treatment program even though this time it wasn't her fault.

Furthermore, he was still trying to figure out who everyone was. This girl and the short Mexican guy were obviously related, but he wasn't sure how they fit into Ryan's life.

Almost as if she knew he was staring at her, Theresa turned around to Seth. "I'm Theresa. You've gotta be Seth. I've heard a lot about you. Ryan and I…well, we go way back." 

Ryan had never mentioned Theresa. In fact, he had never really mentioned anyone from his past.

"Is she…you know, going to be okay…you think?"

"Well, I'm no doctor, but she doesn't seem to be waking up really. She may need to go to the hospital."

They looked at each other, each thinking the same thing.

"If I can get her and Ryan out of here, I'll drive to the hospital myself so you guys don't get involved."

Theresa gave him a long look. "Why in the hell were you two here to begin with?"

"We knew Ryan was lying about something. I don't know how, but I think that Marissa knew about the two of you. We followed him here."

***

Ryan walked into the bedroom, the effects of the coke seemed to be wearing off. He saw Marissa lying on top of the bed, propped up by pillows. The same bed he and Theresa had just been on. Seth was over by the window, and Theresa was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a glass of water for Marissa.

"Is she okay?"

"We're not sure. She's somewhat coherent. I've already told Theresa that I wouldn't call 911 from here." Seth said coldly, glaring at Ryan and then looking over at Theresa and Marissa.

"How did you guys get here?"

"We followed you Ryan, and Marissa seemed to know about Theresa." 

Seth walked towards Ryan with a look of disgust. For the first time he didn't see the cool older brother that he had always wanted, he saw a scared, fucked up teenager, who didn't have all the answers after all.

Ryan sat down at Theresa's dresser. "Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I really fucked everything up." He put his head in his hands not wanting to look at Seth, Marissa, or Theresa.

Turning her back on Ryan, Theresa got up and leaned over to check Marissa's breathing, "I think you guys need to get going to that hospital."

***

Despite the party that continued to rage on in the rest of the house, everyone in the bedroom was silent. Theresa had wrapped a blanket from the bed around Marissa and Ryan reached down and picked her up. It was like TJ all over again, except this time, he was the villain, not the hero.

He looked at Theresa. What could he say?

She half smiled at him even though she looked like she was on the verge of tears. "Goodbye Ryan, good luck," she whispered as she touched the edge of the blanket.

He then looked at Arturo, who only nodded at him, and then back to Seth, who was ready to go.

Ryan looked at Theresa. There was so much he needed to say once again. "I'm sorry." It seemed to summarize all of the apologies he'd never had a chance to say before.

With that, he carried Marissa out to the truck and laid her down in the backseat, fastening the seatbelt around her the best he could.

Seth continued being icy towards Ryan. After Ryan loaded Marissa into the backseat of the truck, he asked, "So how should we do this?"

After the night's events, Ryan had completely sobered up and felt okay enough to drive. "You drive Marissa to Hoag, and I'll follow right behind you in Kirsten's car." 

Seeing the disagreeing look on Seth's face, he continued, "Really man, I'm okay to drive. I'll be right behind you. And I'll explain everything…later."

Seth had kept his eyes glued to the rearview mirror the entire way back to Newport Beach. He thought for sure Ryan would wreck Kirsten's car, but they'd made it to Hoag in one piece.

Seth somehow got Marissa to the front desk of the emergency room and said that she was a friend who'd gotten drugged on a blind date. They'd admitted her immediately and started her on medications. Ryan had stayed back at first in case he still looked wired. He didn't want to raise the suspicions of the ER staff. 

Seth called his dad from his cell phone. He didn't want to scare Sandy, so he kept the details short, he'd explain the rest later. Sandy said he'd call Jimmy Cooper and get to the hospital immediately.

***

When Marissa came to, Ryan was the only person in the room with her. She was hazy on the night's events, but they were starting to come back to her in jumbled pieces.

"How could you do this to me?" She whispered, emotion catching in her throat.

Ryan had been thinking that very same thing. Seth had already told him to fuck off after Ryan had tried to tell him what was going on. He was waiting in the visitor area for his dad and Jimmy Cooper. He was alone to face Marissa for what he had done.

"Marissa, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I just felt… I dunno. I got all fucked up inside. Scared that I didn't really fit in here, that everything was going to fall apart. I felt like my life wasn't real, so I just ran. Ran before I had a chance to see this all come crashing down around me. Now you're in a hospital and it's all my fault."

He turned and punched the wall behind him. "Fuck!" He yelled, slouching against the wall and burying his face in his fists. "I blew it. I always blow it. I am nothing but a screw up!"

Marissa sat up in bed and looked fearfully at him. He was scaring her.

Not willing to look at her, he asked, "Marissa, will you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know Ryan. Right now, I don't even know who you are."

***

Back at the Cohens' house, Seth had escaped up to his room. Sandy and Kirsten told Ryan to wait for them in the living room so they could get to the bottom of what was going on.

When they walked in, he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

"Ryan, Seth told us as much as he knows: you'd been acting weird, so he and Marissa followed you, then someone had slipped something in Marissa's drink. He also said that you'd been cheating on Marissa with some other girl, and that you were using." Sandy watched Ryan's face for his reaction as he spoke.

Ryan sat frozen on the couch. This was it, they were going to kick him out and he deserved it for all that he had put them through.

Sandy continued, "Ryan, I can understand that living here may be a bit overwhelming to you. It certainly was when I moved here from the Bronx, but you need to talk to us and let us help you instead of going back to Chino and using drugs."

Ryan stood up from the couch, but looked down at the floor. "Well this is it. I blew it and I'm sorry. I screwed up again. I know I'd promised not to get into any more trouble and I did. I'll be gone by morning." 

 "Ryan, don't you get it yet? Don't you understand that when we took you in we did it because we care about you? We want to help you, not kick you out. But you've got to let us help you." Kirsten said.

Ryan couldn't believe what he heard. Back home with his mom, A.J. would have beaten his ass and then thrown him out. His mother would have sat on the couch, saying nothing and certainly not crossing A.J.

"I don't know what to say. I felt like I wasn't myself anymore. I've never been an honor role student, or a boyfriend to the social chair, or a mentor, or a team player, or… any of those things. I've always just been an idiot and a loser, never going to amount to anything. I don't know how to be anything else. It felt like all the pressure was building and I couldn't take it anymore."

"Well, talking about it is the first step." Kirsten said as she got up from the chair and walked over to give him a hug.

"Now I need to go face Seth. He's pretty pissed off at me."

"Yeah he is. He's hurt and he's scared. But you guys can work it out."

When Ryan got to the bottom of the stairs, he saw that Seth had been sitting on the top step and had heard the entire conversation.

***

While he and Seth had found peace, Marissa was another story. She wouldn't take him back, and it was probably for the best. Ryan needed to get his shit together first. He'd tried to call Theresa once, but she said that she didn't want him coming back to Chino, "_this place is bad for you Ryan, you were meant for more than this."_

Hopefully he was.

THE END.


End file.
